Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
