Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
