Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
