i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
