Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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