Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
