Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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