Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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