He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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