why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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