Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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