addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Help me help you realize you are a moron
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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