Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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