i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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