Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
