If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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