Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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