i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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