Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
