I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
