We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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