Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
