you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
