If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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