I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
