Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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