The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
