We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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