The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
