i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
