Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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