i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
