Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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