Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
