yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
