He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All the doctor said was why
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
