Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
