why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
