please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize