it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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