i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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