so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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