plz talk dirty to me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize