I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
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