we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
