he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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