There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize