I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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