I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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