Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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