I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
