A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize