Farmville is her only friend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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