The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
