So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
