everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
