Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
