youre lurking in front of me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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