so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
