He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
