ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
