I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she told me i tasted like america
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize