Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize